Very Merry

I worked at Disneyland for a year during college. I had a great job - working on the Rivers of America on the Davy Crockett Explorer Canoes. No, they are not on a track, and if you don't paddle, they don't go. Well, they do go, because the two employees (excuse, me I mean, Cast Members) assigned to dragging your fat ass around the river do all the work. I was very fit that summer.

Anyway, this guy name Kerry, who had been around a few years, had a name tag that said Harry. I said to him, without thinking, "Hey, I get it, Hari Kari," and he, being a supreme snot, said, "You're a real rocket scientist, you just figured that out, huh?"

Well, this annoyed me quite a bit. As it was, we were both on Canoes, and so each time around the river, I would make it a point to drive up next to his Canoe, and say something new each time around the river...

First, I said, "You're a pretty funny guy. I bet people call you Merry Harry Kerry."

Next trip, I said, "You're really funny. I bet people call you Very Merry Harry Kerry."

Next trip, I said, "If you were gay, you would be Very Merry Harry Kerry the Fairy."

Next trip, I said, "If your boyfriend was Larry, you'd be Very Merry Harry Kerry the Fairy who is with Larry."

I think it was about at this point that my point was made and we started splashing each other out of spite. I think there was collateral damage - guests getting wet too. Well, it was a hot summer, so cooling off with disgusting Rivers of America water was a special service we could provide to ourselves and the innocent guests.

I remember, way back then, that they hadn't cleaned the big pond which is the Rivers of America for about 15 years. It was pretty disgusting. I think they drain and clean it every five years now (otherwise underwater Fantasmic parts might get too dirty and stop working).

Which brings me to another point - what two words go together to make Fantasmic?

Could they be ... Fantasy and Orgasmic?


© 2005 Stephen Clarke-Willson - All Rights Reserved.